On Seeing....

Written on Monday October 2, 2017

     Life has been wonderful and challenging, busy and full since we arrived.  In trying to keep up and take it all in I have hurriedly documented just the surface of lessons that fill our days and our souls.  It took a sweet, heartfelt email from a dear MTC buddy whose mission is serving in a struggling ward in Hungary to stop me.  Well, that’s and a few other things. I’ve been sick enough for almost a week that, try as I may I can’t go very far or do very much.  I like to be in control and be busy checking things off my to-do list.  The Lord stopped me and I’ve been working from His to-do list this week (one of the those was being home to view General conference at the strange hours we can stream it live here).
     Life is not easy, its often just plain HARD.  To quote my MTC friend (in reference to a mission but I find it applies to life in general), “There are dramatic highs and sobering lows…(and) I have come to realize in a very short time that the Lord wants all of me.  He wants my whole heart.  I have always thought that He did have the very best of me, until I came here.  This is where I have come to see (and I add, to really face) my inadequacies, failings, flaws and sins with blaring clarity”… she adds how hard and troubling and not fun that is, but it’s the only way to change the natural man, like CS Lewis alluded to in the Cottage vs. the Palace story, is to be tested, pulled, stretched, challenged so we can be refined and BECOME what HE has planned for us.
     This week has been a definite refining, a time to stop (or be stopped) and relook at whose agenda you are following and whose Plan you are trying to follow or force to make happen.  My “hurry and get it done and make sure it’s perfect and everything is just so” not only doesn’t work here but I am finding it’s really not the Lord’s way of doing things.  The format of the Institute lessons are guided by the Spirit and Love and the scriptures not by an agenda and a hard copy.  When a YSA needs to talk its not to schedule an appointment but NOW. The physical and spiritual food doesn’t look like the picture from Pinterest but it works. How much time have I wasted in my life making sure things looked good on the outside? Sometimes He has to STOP us to help us SEE and really make progress. 
I’m not there yet but I can SEE some things better:  
·        *  I SEE God’s word (not man’s opinions) and the Spirit are more than adequate to teach the things of eternity.
·        *  I am beginning to SEE God’s children through His eyes (I have a long way to go but it’s a whole new world).
·        *  I SEE that He provides us with all the “things” we will need, not want or desire, but “need”.
·       *   I SEE that He also provides us with the help, the people, the angels we need.  Sometimes they are even the ones you share the car keys and the dinner table with. I am beginning to SEE the  gentle giant I married, who really CAN cook if you don’t need Pinterest perfect looking plates.  Who has no guile but loves me and the Lord more than life itself.  I have so far to go and so much to learn about humility and selflessness.  I’ll need another 200 years here.
·        *  I SEE that “speed” doesn’t trump “steady”, it took thousands of years to build earth.  If you want perfection and beauty and things right (and to be more like God), be patient.
·        *  I SEE that most of the things I spent a lifetime acquiring I don’t really need here in New Zealand…Job was right, “naked came I into this world and naked will I return”
·       *   I am beginning to SEE that you don’t have to see or do or have it all like the world dictates.  LET GO of the worlds definitions.  The Lord may have another PLAN for you, whether it’s your health, your family, your work, your position, your calling…do you trust Him?
·        *  I SEE clearly that the Lord’s servants have His heart, His wisdom and were truly called by HIM!!  Like the Wizard of Oz tried to point out…There is no degree man can bestow that proves the heart and wisdom and goodness of another.  The men and women who I sustain as His leaders may be old or not appear appealing to the world.  If Noah were to apply for a job as a ships builder or captain in his old age he would have been rejected by worldly standards.  But we’re not operating by the world’s standards.  This is God’s work and His standards.  He set them eons ago.  Regardless of our doubt, faithless follies and wickedness He will continue to run things by His standard and work through appointed servants whether or not the world believes His standards or adheres to them.
·        *  I SEE my weaknesses and SEE how much I need Him.
·        *  I SEE more clearly every day how incredibly vital and essential the Atonement is…and how amazing and wonderful it is that the Savior loved His Father and us so much that He suffered, endured and atoned.  He really did save us!  The more I learn the more I am in AWE! How can we EVER THANK HIM?!
Maybe there are some ways to thank Him.  Try to be like Him, try to love like He did and does, endure as He did, forgive as He did and does, stand up for Him, listen to His words, His servants, and come to know Him better.  He made a difference for you, are you making a difference for Him?
General Conference inspires me specifically and generally to try to be more like Him.  I came away with a better determination to:
REFOCUS, to LET GO OF THE WORLD, to spend more time serving the Lord not myself, to really focus on helping others around me….I don’t have to go far away and save street urchins in some far away country….there are people in my life who need help and saving.  I need to do thing HIS WAY.  AND I NEED TO DAILY READ THE BOOK OF MORMON (there are sweet promises and great blessings waiting as I do).  Look daily for the LORD’S HAND. 
I love the Lord, His work, His PLAN, His allotment for me: my mission, my sweet husband, children grandchildren and family, dear friends and people in my life, my membership in His church and Yes…even the trials and challenges He has suited for me along with the heaps of blessings He showers me with. It’s all overwhelming but with Him it’s do-able and wonderful and it’s right.


Thank you….Love, Louenda
Our mothers (and Lou's sister Kathy) now party and go to lunch once a month without us :)

Maori cemetery on the way to the New Zealand Temple near Hamilton NZ

I think these are some kind of air plant that can still grow even without soil and just gets nutrients from the air.  Pretty hardy.  Sometimes we all have to go without the traditional stuff and learn to survive a bit...but we can be beautiful like this little guy.

Mac and cheese are universal...the lamb and mince pies are a New Zealand favorite.

These fern fronds are the Moana symbol and are found everywhere representing birth and unfolding of new life in the Islands.

Will send more pictures and another post in just a few days.
We love you all,
Elder and Sister Downs 

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